Everyone Else But Me: Life, Love, Loss & Laughter through Infertility
For 10 years, infertility was an interloper in my marriage, eroding my self-esteem, bank balance and happiness. I joined online support groups and forums, read a library’s worth of books, blogs and articles. Nevertheless, few places offered sanctuary from the perpetual feed of pregnancy, and proud new parents. Accosted by our child-centric society, I felt like I was the only one scrabbling to keep all my marbles in place.
Once I'd climbed out of that dark and difficult place, I vowed to write about my experiences to help others. I wanted to tell the story, share the poems, provide the research and facts, advice and care that I would have appreciated reading when at the peak of my own psychological tussle.
I admit that the writing process was not easy as I delved into parts of my life that were painful and personal, but my story needed to be told, and the story of others like me.
Getting the tone right took time and patience, but I got there in the end and finally 'birthed' a book that made me proud. I felt certain that readers struggling themselves would be emotionally drawn to, connect with, and uplifted by many elements of this story and poems.
In 2019, I published and launched, 'Everyone Else But Me: Life, Love, Loss & Laughter through Infertility.'
Humour, realism, absurdism, joy, pain, love and advice are all here in one place, as are many themes, not just infertility - relationships, self-reflection, identity and belonging.
This book has now become an excellent resource for the increasing number of people wanting to understand how to support others, as well as for men and women wishing to rise up from these challenges and the adversity of grief to feel more empowered and less alone.
Please do read on to find out more.
How does infertility and loss impact daily life? How are sufferers viewed by those who’ve little experience of this issue? Are they robustly supported by family, friends, and employers? Are patients adequately supported by an industry that promises so much? And how can laughter, love, self-care, and balance be consistent companions during such emotional wrangling?
Long-term infertility causes a mindboggling array of hidden issues, from workplace discrimination to financial instability, from marital difficulties to serious mental health concerns. Yet, in an age of deconstructing social taboos with access to almost limitless information, there remains a significant lack of understanding of these harmful repercussions.
Offering powerful insight into the struggles of sufferers, and raising awareness to spark enlightening conversations leading to greater support is at the heart of this book.
Ultimately a story of love, resilience and survival through infertility, the stories and experiences of other remarkable women are also woven into this sometimes harrowing, yet uplifting scrutiny. Each chapter’s core message explores a different theme, ending with a carefully crafted poem audibly brought to life via a QR code.
Whilst, at first glance, there’s little to laugh about in this whirl of heartache and loss, a sprinkle of dark humour can help us through even the most testing times. This is what is hoped the poems inspire; comfort, reassurance, the release of a bottled-up tear, and laughter.
Everyone else but me: Life, Love, Loss & Laughter through Infertility shines light into infertility’s murky, misunderstood corners in a way that supports the self-care and well-being of infertility sufferers, educates the uninformed, and entertains those who need a pick me up.
And for those who keep going, year after year, for those who need encouragement to go forth with wisdom, strength and renewed optimism, this book is for you.